bruce potterTiger starts the year at 15 over!
January 20th 2010 03:45
Okay, so I was going to let this one pass and leave it to the hundreds of thousands of columns all ready written about the world's number 1 golfer, but I couldn't.
Tiger Woods could be described as, in my neighbourhood, a mad rooter. In Essex he's a Mad Shagger; In Santa Monica he's a Confirmed Sex Addict.
As such, why on earth would such a man get married? What's the point? If he's that much into sex, why settle for the one partner?
If it's for the joy of children, then it's a dishonest act, as they'll never know a time when their father was faithful to their mother. And when they get to school, imagine the teasing they'll get? It's a lifetime of torment for them.
As NBA players have shown too well, you don't need to be married to procreate.
So why be married?
I think it's because he loves the thrill of cheating; the illicit rendezvous - the stolen moment - the sneaking away to Paris for a weekend before the British Open. I think conventional sex with your wife - who happens to be a stunning Swedish nanny - Tiger would find very dull. There's no danger in it.
Of course, there's the financial aspect of of his public image to consider. If he was open about exploits, as say Russell Brand is, maybe Nike would be reluctant to give him $20million a year to say "Had a Boner, so I Just Did It!"
Surely he gets enough appearance/prize money to not worry about his image? I mean how many cars can one man own? (look at Jay Leno - actually don't)
I have no issue with Tiger servicing his libido in such an expansive fashion; it's the dishonesty that gets me. And what ever else he's done, Tiger deserves the green Masters jacket for dishonesty.
There's a darker side to this story, and please pardon the pun. So far all of the women that have come forward have been white. Apparently when Tiger loads some Rolling Stones tunes onto his Ipod, he always skips Brown Sugar. Let's see Tiger unring that bell.
As it stands, Tiger cannot currently do what he does best. He can't play golf either. Until he does Oprah, as in the program, or does larry King, he can't front up to a golf course and swing his 2-iron as there would be too many news choppers in his flight path.
And what about the batallion of people needed to support Tiger's lifestyle? He's got to have at least among the ten most famous faces in the world. There's no way he can walk into a bar and hit on a girl. There's got to be at least 40 people now looking for work, as Tiger no longer needs them to pimp his many movements and forays.
Most of all I feel sorry for his wife and kids. Sure her settlement will see her not have to go back to nannying any time soon, but the torment and the hassle she's going to go through as Tiger's many minders and the papparrazi make it difficult as they can for her is going to make
her's a difficult life.
Oh well Tiger, you're going to a be a long time out of bounds after this shanked career. It'll be a while before you get a preferred lie. Long time to be putting from the rough. (I can't stop, I really can't)
Crouching Tiger Hidden Pre-Nup!
Tiger Woods could be described as, in my neighbourhood, a mad rooter. In Essex he's a Mad Shagger; In Santa Monica he's a Confirmed Sex Addict.
As such, why on earth would such a man get married? What's the point? If he's that much into sex, why settle for the one partner?
If it's for the joy of children, then it's a dishonest act, as they'll never know a time when their father was faithful to their mother. And when they get to school, imagine the teasing they'll get? It's a lifetime of torment for them.
So why be married?
I think it's because he loves the thrill of cheating; the illicit rendezvous - the stolen moment - the sneaking away to Paris for a weekend before the British Open. I think conventional sex with your wife - who happens to be a stunning Swedish nanny - Tiger would find very dull. There's no danger in it.
Of course, there's the financial aspect of of his public image to consider. If he was open about exploits, as say Russell Brand is, maybe Nike would be reluctant to give him $20million a year to say "Had a Boner, so I Just Did It!"
Surely he gets enough appearance/prize money to not worry about his image? I mean how many cars can one man own? (look at Jay Leno - actually don't)
I have no issue with Tiger servicing his libido in such an expansive fashion; it's the dishonesty that gets me. And what ever else he's done, Tiger deserves the green Masters jacket for dishonesty.
There's a darker side to this story, and please pardon the pun. So far all of the women that have come forward have been white. Apparently when Tiger loads some Rolling Stones tunes onto his Ipod, he always skips Brown Sugar. Let's see Tiger unring that bell.
And what about the batallion of people needed to support Tiger's lifestyle? He's got to have at least among the ten most famous faces in the world. There's no way he can walk into a bar and hit on a girl. There's got to be at least 40 people now looking for work, as Tiger no longer needs them to pimp his many movements and forays.
Most of all I feel sorry for his wife and kids. Sure her settlement will see her not have to go back to nannying any time soon, but the torment and the hassle she's going to go through as Tiger's many minders and the papparrazi make it difficult as they can for her is going to make
her's a difficult life.
Oh well Tiger, you're going to a be a long time out of bounds after this shanked career. It'll be a while before you get a preferred lie. Long time to be putting from the rough. (I can't stop, I really can't)
Crouching Tiger Hidden Pre-Nup!
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