Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Sites | Writers | Advertise | My Orble | Login

Love Mate - by Sara Dobson

Internet dates are like buses, it does not matter if one does not work out, there will be another one along shortly.

We hear so many internet dating success stories nowadays, but how about disasters? What happens when you turn up for your date and you find out everything they told you is a lie. Not a big lie just a whole lot of little ones, such as “I am 5ft 11in tall” when you meet them your realise that even though you are only 5ft 8in they still only come up to your eyeballs.
What happens if they are so socially inept that you cannot have a conversation with them, or they just make you feel uncomfortable? Should you be polite and hang around and make conversation? Or just cut your losses and run?


I have had several occasions that have been uncomfortable for me. I met a guy online once, and I am not sure whose picture he had posted up but it definitely wasn’t his. He also told me he was 5ft 11in, he would be 5ft 7in at the most. Like most tall girls, I prefer a taller guy but it’s not a deal breaker and I have dated guys the same height or shorter than me, what I object to is the lying.

He also looked about 10 years older and 5 stone heavier. What I do not understand, is why lie, you will be found out. The worst part was the way he tickled my hand with his finger when he shook it. Yuck yuck. Anyway, he was invading my space and I was damned uncomfortable, so why didn’t I just leave? It is not as if I am ever going to see him again, why do I care what he thinks?

We went for drink, and several times I went to the bathroom, climbed up on the toilet, and looked out the window to see if I could make my escape. However, I was several floors up and I just couldn’t do it. So here I am, prepared to jump out the window, but I didn’t even have the guts to tell the guy that he wasn’t for me, but thanks for meeting me anyway.

On another occasion I met a guy who made out on his profile that he was a wacky fun spontaneous kinda guy. He phoned me one Saturday afternoon and asked me if I wanted to meet for a drink, as he happened to be in the city working. I said no I am at the gym I need to go home and get changed. “No worries,” he said I will wait around. I asked him if work was busy and he said “No I just like being here.” Why? Why didn’t I see that as a warning sign. In fact, when I tried to make conversation with him on the phone he went silent. Why didn’t I see that as a warning sign?

Nope I still met up with him for a drink at 8pm, after he called me at 3pm and waited around all that time in the city for me, and you guessed it, no conversation. In fact, the only time he got really animated was when I told him I was off to Amsterdam the following weekend. Suddenly he came alive with advice on the drugs available and where to buy them. Once we had milked that conversation as far as it could go it was back to silent staring and yes no answers.

Even though I knew it was pointless, I continued to try, but again why did I bother? Because I didn’t want to upset him? Maybe I did not want him to think badly about me.
My friend told me she went on a date with a weird guy she met online and said to him “oh you are from Maroubra, I can’t date a guy from there.” And left. He probably thought she was weird, but then maybe it does not matter if you are never going to see them again.


On the other hand, you do not want to leave someone’s ego in shreds either just because they were not for you.

Another friend bolted for the door as soon as her date had gone to the bathroom.
And guys don’t think it is just the girls. One guy told me when he was on a date with someone he wasn’t interested in he bolted out the restaurant door saying someone was trying to steal his car from the parking lot.

My New Yorker friend says the online dating business there is big, and very cut throat, and a date can last five minutes. If someone doesn’t like you they are out the door immediately. I think that is probably a better way to go than having a drink with someone, and potentially leading them on. At least if someone was honest upfront you can move on immediately rather than sitting by the phone wondering if they are going to call.

What do you think, how long should you hang around for if you aren’t interested? Would you prefer someone was straight up about their lack of interest and call it a night straightaway?
72
Vote
   


Taking the Trauma out of First Dates

August 23rd 2008 01:31
First dates can be very scary; there is so much riding on them, so many hopes and expectations. Not to mention the worries such as: 'What if I can’t think of anything to say?’ 'What if I get something stuck in my teeth?’ People say it is like going to a job interview. I hate job interviews, I dread them, and that is not how you should feel when going on a date.
Here are a few tips to help you relax and enjoy your date.

Location

Keep it simple meet for a drink or a coffee somewhere, or perhaps a casual restaurant; do not go anywhere too extravagant that may make the evening uncomfortable for one party.
Do not plan too many different activities, as it will provide too many opportunities for things to go wrong, just a dinner or a couple of drinks will give you the opportunity to get to know whether you have anything in common with the person.


Dress Appropriately

If you are going to your local Italian restaurant then a sparkly dress and uncomfortable (but gorgeous) shoes may not be appropriate. Same with makeup up if you are going casual keep it light.

However, some effort should be made. Even on a casual date, I make sure I am wearing a pretty top and nice shoes with my jeans and a little makeup, only to be disappointed when my date turns up in an old woolly jumper and slip ons. To me it says 'I cannot be bothered'. Jeans and a nice shirt with a jacket would be great.


Conversation

Keep it light. Now is not the time to discuss you traumatic childhood, or your disastrous relationship history. Best not to get into heated debates over religion or politics either.
Be yourself, your well-behaved self that is. Do not lie about you hobbies and interests or pretend to be someone you are not.

Some people suggest making a list of conversation starters, personally, I don’t these work. I think it sounds fake after an awkward pause to suddenly say, “Describe your dream holiday”. If you have stuff in common, the conversation should flow. It is useful to find out their dreams and hobbies before you go out with them. Then at least you will have an idea of discussion topics that would be of interest to them.


Paying

Most guys I talk to like to pay on first dates, regardless of whether you asked them out or not. I made a big mistake one time when I insisted on paying half when the guy earned less. One of my male friends told me that was the wrong thing to do because it would make him feel bad.

Another mistake I made was to insist on paying for a guy I had been out with a few times. But the reason I did this is because he always paid, and I thought he may feel I was using him because he was very well off.

Although I have to say, one of the biggest turnoffs was when I went dutch with a guy who went through his pockets and pulled out all his coins to make sure he didn’t pay a cent more than he had to for the meal.

So I guess that girls need to make an effort to pay and guys need to be honest about whether they want us to pay.

This is the most awkward part of the date for me, because it is different for every guy and I have no idea whether I am doing the right thing or not.


Ending the date


End a date honestly. If you think there is no chemistry thank your date for a lovely evening and leave it at that. Guys please don’t say you will call if you have no intention of doing so.
I think if you felt a connection with someone a good night kiss is definitely on the cards.


33
Vote
   


Sex appeal, it is a powerful thing, we know it when we see it, but can we describe it?

How many times have you been on a date with someone you thought was very hot to look at, and then been bored before the end of the first course, because they are not too bright or they are rude to the waiters.

Instead of being so excited you want to rush home and get them into bed, you want to shovel down your dinner quickly so you can get away.

On the other hand, how many times have you been out with a group of mates and, Mr or Ms Pleasant Looking across the table is suddenly the most desirable person in the room.
Sex appeal it would seem, has nothing to do with looks, so what is the x-factor? It’s just something that makes you want to be with them.

So what do you need to do to get sex appeal? Deep down we all want to find someone who relates to us on all levels, mind, body and soul. So we need to make sure all three are giving off the message we want.

Let’s start with the body. This is only a small part of sex appeal, but it is often the first thing somebody notices. So, there is no harm in taking care of yourself, getting a good haircut and staying reasonably fit. Personal hygiene is a must so make sure you shower and clean your teeth, (this may seem obvious but I have been on one or two dates with men that haven't used deoderant or had bad breath). Being confident in the way you look helps you feel better about yourself.

More important than looks is intelligence, and not just IQ. I am talking about your whole openness to learning new things and having new experiences. So get out and do things you have wanted to do or learn a new skill. Keep your mind active. If you want to attract an intelligent partner, you need to be able to keep them interested so keep your mind sharp.

The most important part of sex appeal though is your soul, it is the essence of who you are. In order to improve your soul, you really get to know yourself on a much deeper level than what you look like. Think about other things that are good about you. Perhaps you are creative or generous.

Stop negative thoughts as soon as they pop into your head, work out a strategy to deal with them such as saying nobody is perfect. Every time you have a negative thought, pay yourself a compliment immediately.

Spend time alone doing things you really want to do. Take a risk, and do things that would otherwise scare you, such as going to a movie or for a coffee on your own. Travel by yourself.

Once you love yourself and are confident in your own company other people will also enjoy being in your company.

There are so many people, both men and women, that spend a lot of time making sure they look attractive on the outside, but neglect their mind and soul. These people have no problem finding potential partners but often the relationships are superficial. If a relationship is to last then it needs to be built on the whole package, mind body and soul.
44
Vote
Shared on
   


First, we get mobile phones that send text messages, meaning we can avoid having difficult conversations with people like, “I don’t want to see you anymore,” or “I can’t make it tonight my cat is sick.”

Now there is a new phone service called Slydial available in America. The service allows users to connect directly with someone’s voice mail, without their mobile phone actually ringing, thus risking them actually answering


[ Click here to read more ]
30
Vote
Shared on
   


“Beep beep,” went my mobile phone. I smiled that would be Jim (not his real name) texting me to see if I was all right.

“Who is that?” asked my husband


[ Click here to read more ]
111
Vote
Shared on
   


Online dating is now considered an excellent way to meet that special person. Several of my friends have actually married someone they met online.

I have another friend though that complains she keeps meeting the wrong kinds of people. I took a look at her profile and I can see why


[ Click here to read more ]
49
Vote
Shared on
   


Durex to Release Orgasm Gel

August 5th 2008 23:11

Apparently, the female orgasm lasts around 28 seconds, and for some it can last up to 117 seconds. However, just 39% of women claim they always achieve an orgasm while 17% never do and find it easier to fake it.

[ Click here to read more ]
47
Vote
Shared on
   


MATURE CONTENT
   


INTERNET DATING

March 8th 2007 08:19
Have you noticed what is happening on the Internet Dating sites these days?
well...I'll tell you. Men and their penis's.
Yes, there they are. Hanging to the right, hanging to the left


[ Click here to read more ]
75
Vote
Shared on
   


So....just from pure observation, and talking from experience as well, why are there people who are only attracted to people they can never ever have? Why do they have to put themselves in such a position and torture themselves, knowing full well that those that they love are pretty unattainable, unreachable?

Is it because they have an issue with commitment and therefore by being attracted to the unreachable, unattainable, it saves them from every commiting to anything


[ Click here to read more ]
141
Vote
Shared on
   


More Posts
7 Posts
2 Posts
8 Posts
49 Posts dating from March 2006
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:
Moderated by Sara Dobson
Copyright © 2006 2007 2008 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]