bruce potterSecrets of a Lasting Relationship
August 31st 2008 12:27
Six years ago, newly divorced and meeting inappropriate men, I gave up on love completely. Then I worked with an amazing woman. At the time she was in her early forties, she had five children who’s ages ranged from 7 -20 years old (one set of twins). She was married to her teenage sweetheart. She had met him at age 17, she said to me ‘he’s the only man I have ever known’ (I am assuming that is in the biblical sense).
She used to ring him from work and chat; he came and met her for lunch sometimes, which may not seem out of the ordinary. But thing that I found amazing was when I saw them out on the street one day they were holding hands and they both had that dreamy look of young love in their eyes.
It was at that moment my faith in true love was restored. She told me she adored her husband as much now as she did at 17, and clearly, he adored her too.
I asked her what her secret was, how did she remain so happy after so many years and five children. This is what she told me.
She and her husband love each other, they love going out on dates now as much as they did when they first met.
They are best friends.
They celebrate their differences. One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming that those whose opinions differ from theirs are wrong. Don’t make the other person wrong for thinking or wanting different things to you.
Communication – This one is almost a cliché everyone knows how important communication is, but it would seem that this is one of the first things to go when a relationship gets rocky. Never go to bed angry. Talk about everything.
Accept that things will not stay the same as they were when you first met. Relationships as well as people grow and change. It is accepting and dealing with those changes that count.
Think about things from your partner’s point of view. You will get a good understanding of the way they think or feel about things. You may find you are actually similar to them in many ways, and that you a guilty of some of the traits you dislike in the other person.
Never forget to say I love you. Relive moments from the early days of the relationship remember why you fell in love.
Spend quality time together, not just having sex, but doing the things you both enjoy, such as going to a movie or a walk in the park.
Most importantly, you need to be with someone you truly love and respect.
She used to ring him from work and chat; he came and met her for lunch sometimes, which may not seem out of the ordinary. But thing that I found amazing was when I saw them out on the street one day they were holding hands and they both had that dreamy look of young love in their eyes.
It was at that moment my faith in true love was restored. She told me she adored her husband as much now as she did at 17, and clearly, he adored her too.
I asked her what her secret was, how did she remain so happy after so many years and five children. This is what she told me.
She and her husband love each other, they love going out on dates now as much as they did when they first met.
They are best friends.
They celebrate their differences. One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming that those whose opinions differ from theirs are wrong. Don’t make the other person wrong for thinking or wanting different things to you.
Communication – This one is almost a cliché everyone knows how important communication is, but it would seem that this is one of the first things to go when a relationship gets rocky. Never go to bed angry. Talk about everything.
Accept that things will not stay the same as they were when you first met. Relationships as well as people grow and change. It is accepting and dealing with those changes that count.
Think about things from your partner’s point of view. You will get a good understanding of the way they think or feel about things. You may find you are actually similar to them in many ways, and that you a guilty of some of the traits you dislike in the other person.
Never forget to say I love you. Relive moments from the early days of the relationship remember why you fell in love.
Spend quality time together, not just having sex, but doing the things you both enjoy, such as going to a movie or a walk in the park.
Most importantly, you need to be with someone you truly love and respect.
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