bruce potterAbout celebrating her birthday Pt 2
June 23rd 2009 15:41
1) Remember the date! My mate passed this test and many do, but there is just as many stories out there of guys deservedly getting the silent treatment for a week after forgetting again.
My tip – at the beginning of the year spend $5 on a pocket diary. In the diary mark it with the birthdays for the women in your life – your mother, your sister, but especially your wife/girlfriend. Now mark a day the week before her birthday, which is when phase one of your operation will begin. Then mark the day before her birthday, when you should be well into final preparations. If you only mark her birthday, you may only check on that day, and then you’re into the last minute dash, which leads to almost as much pain as forgetting altogether. You should also mark it with yours/hers anniversary.
2) Never ask her what she needs or wants; you have to have a plan of what you’re going to get her, and it needs to be from you not her. If she really needs something
badly, ask her family or friends to arrange it. She may tell you she needs a new vacuum, but if you turn up on her birthday carrying a Hoover with a bow on it, expect to get a kick in the bollocks.
3) BEWARE If she says “I don’t want you to make a fuss about my birthday” – This is a trap. She’s saying this to remind you its coming up, and she’s also saying it because that is exactly what she’d like you to do. It’s one of those comments like “Oh, you’re wearing that shirt are you?” or “I guess I shouldn’t expect you home in time for dinner?” where the opposite action is required.
4) Buy a Card – Always, Always, Always - My mate the tyre buyer struggled with the significance here, but to his wife a card with a loving message would have meant much more than $200 worth of tyres. Don’t buy novelty cards; yes, Gary Larson’s FarSide is brilliant but it is not really romantic. Don’t buy the normal generic vanilla cards either.
My tip – spend even less than those other cards and buy a blank card with dolphins on it or something similar and write your own inscription inside.
You should then write a verse in it; now if you want to try getting poetic by all means, but try taking a verse from the lyric sheet from one of her favourite albums. If that search fails revert back to the master – Van Morrison, or perhaps some other lesser likes.
Or perhaps you can get an absolutely blank card and stick a photo of her or the two of you on it. Just make an effort.
My tip – at the beginning of the year spend $5 on a pocket diary. In the diary mark it with the birthdays for the women in your life – your mother, your sister, but especially your wife/girlfriend. Now mark a day the week before her birthday, which is when phase one of your operation will begin. Then mark the day before her birthday, when you should be well into final preparations. If you only mark her birthday, you may only check on that day, and then you’re into the last minute dash, which leads to almost as much pain as forgetting altogether. You should also mark it with yours/hers anniversary.
2) Never ask her what she needs or wants; you have to have a plan of what you’re going to get her, and it needs to be from you not her. If she really needs something
badly, ask her family or friends to arrange it. She may tell you she needs a new vacuum, but if you turn up on her birthday carrying a Hoover with a bow on it, expect to get a kick in the bollocks.
3) BEWARE If she says “I don’t want you to make a fuss about my birthday” – This is a trap. She’s saying this to remind you its coming up, and she’s also saying it because that is exactly what she’d like you to do. It’s one of those comments like “Oh, you’re wearing that shirt are you?” or “I guess I shouldn’t expect you home in time for dinner?” where the opposite action is required.
4) Buy a Card – Always, Always, Always - My mate the tyre buyer struggled with the significance here, but to his wife a card with a loving message would have meant much more than $200 worth of tyres. Don’t buy novelty cards; yes, Gary Larson’s FarSide is brilliant but it is not really romantic. Don’t buy the normal generic vanilla cards either.
You should then write a verse in it; now if you want to try getting poetic by all means, but try taking a verse from the lyric sheet from one of her favourite albums. If that search fails revert back to the master – Van Morrison, or perhaps some other lesser likes.
Or perhaps you can get an absolutely blank card and stick a photo of her or the two of you on it. Just make an effort.
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