bruce potterAbout celebrating her birthday Pt 1
June 23rd 2009 15:32
Awake?
Okay, this one is directed at the guys, but I’d very much like feedback from the girls if I’m desperately short of the mark, or maybe some further tips.
Recently I was speaking to a mate and he related a story that sounded familiar to some other stories I’ve heard from men and women.
His wife of eight years was having a birthday soon. He asked her a week before what she wanted for her birthday. She told him her car needed two new tyres. So, the day before her birthday he secretly borrowed her car and got her two new tyres fitted as her birthday gift. She laughed when he told her, because apparently she wasn’t seriously asking for new tyres. She then retold the story in to some friends of theirs at her birthday dinner.
She thought it was hilarious he did what she asked, but a lovely thing to do, whilst not being the most romantic thing he’d ever given her. She added she was disappointed he didn’t give her a card, as that was all she was hoping for.
Now my mate was a little pissed off that what he thought was a nice thing had been turned into a punchline, and that he’d never been able to get through her birthday without doing something wrong or stupid. He asked me for advice. I gave it and much of what follows is what I told him.
Now, I’m not pretending to be a guru on any particular subject, but I do have some observations to make based on a small of experience, and the small amount of feedback I’ve had which has been generally positive.
First thing to accept as fact is that women treat birthdays with immensely more significance than men. I’m not sure if it’s the maternal instinct or what, but assume it as law that a woman is going to be far more aware of birthdays then you are. I think this is largely a good thing, because how else would we remember any body’s birthdays? If the task was left up to us, everybody would have the same birthday – the last Saturday in September, because we can all remember that day.
Next thing to know is that whatever you buy for her birthday will never be as important as the effort you put into choosing it, or making it, or preparing it. Women want to know that you think they’re special, and that you’ll go out of your way to show it, as you should. Not all of us verbalise our emotions, and not all of us are absolutely romantic, so one day of the year I think it’s good to treat them with unbridled passion and romance. Or at least have a slightly unbridled stab at it, which she will appreciate regardless.
The main thing to work towards is that it shouldn’t be about your budget; she’s not expecting you to buy her an $8,000 string of pearls, as driving you to work each day because you had to sell your car to afford the pearls will get old in about two days.
Also, if you are buying your wife an $8,000 necklace, she’s probably wondering what you’re buying your mistress for her birthday.
So be a little bit creative; making a gift is not something all of us will view comfortably as we don’t have quite the same grasp of handicrafts as our partners do. But I’m not talking about that kind of creation, although if you can knit a decent sweater, more power to you.
What you're striving for is a gesture of the love you feel for her that is tangible that she can treasure, all for under $100. I know, it sounds like a tall order, but it’s not that hard.
Okay, this one is directed at the guys, but I’d very much like feedback from the girls if I’m desperately short of the mark, or maybe some further tips.
Recently I was speaking to a mate and he related a story that sounded familiar to some other stories I’ve heard from men and women.
His wife of eight years was having a birthday soon. He asked her a week before what she wanted for her birthday. She told him her car needed two new tyres. So, the day before her birthday he secretly borrowed her car and got her two new tyres fitted as her birthday gift. She laughed when he told her, because apparently she wasn’t seriously asking for new tyres. She then retold the story in to some friends of theirs at her birthday dinner.
Now my mate was a little pissed off that what he thought was a nice thing had been turned into a punchline, and that he’d never been able to get through her birthday without doing something wrong or stupid. He asked me for advice. I gave it and much of what follows is what I told him.
Now, I’m not pretending to be a guru on any particular subject, but I do have some observations to make based on a small of experience, and the small amount of feedback I’ve had which has been generally positive.
First thing to accept as fact is that women treat birthdays with immensely more significance than men. I’m not sure if it’s the maternal instinct or what, but assume it as law that a woman is going to be far more aware of birthdays then you are. I think this is largely a good thing, because how else would we remember any body’s birthdays? If the task was left up to us, everybody would have the same birthday – the last Saturday in September, because we can all remember that day.
Next thing to know is that whatever you buy for her birthday will never be as important as the effort you put into choosing it, or making it, or preparing it. Women want to know that you think they’re special, and that you’ll go out of your way to show it, as you should. Not all of us verbalise our emotions, and not all of us are absolutely romantic, so one day of the year I think it’s good to treat them with unbridled passion and romance. Or at least have a slightly unbridled stab at it, which she will appreciate regardless.
The main thing to work towards is that it shouldn’t be about your budget; she’s not expecting you to buy her an $8,000 string of pearls, as driving you to work each day because you had to sell your car to afford the pearls will get old in about two days.
Also, if you are buying your wife an $8,000 necklace, she’s probably wondering what you’re buying your mistress for her birthday.
So be a little bit creative; making a gift is not something all of us will view comfortably as we don’t have quite the same grasp of handicrafts as our partners do. But I’m not talking about that kind of creation, although if you can knit a decent sweater, more power to you.
What you're striving for is a gesture of the love you feel for her that is tangible that she can treasure, all for under $100. I know, it sounds like a tall order, but it’s not that hard.
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