bruce potterHe'S jUsT nOt ThAt InTo YoU!
May 4th 2006 09:44
I don't know if anyone saw the Oprah episode awhile ago with Greg Behrendt, a former star on Sex and the City and the author of the book, He's Just Not that Into You, but it really was a must see for any girl who is unsure how a guy feels about her. The book is full of stories of girls trying to figure out the mixed messages being sent by the guys they like. Although each story is different, the ending is always the same... he's just not that into you.
Being a girl, I think we tend to overanalyze guys' reactions, trying to find the hidden feelings for us that just isn't there. Guys aren't always blunt with their feelings, but trust me if they like you, there are certain thngs they won't do. They won't take weeks to call you, only contact you through text messages, cancel plans with you, ignore you when he is with his guys, etc. If they are doing these things, you have to face the fact that they just aren't that into you. I know, we think that if the guy doesn't like us, then he should just make it easy and say so. But it is hard for any decent person to tell a person straight to their face "I really don't like you". No one in their right mind wants to hurt someone else's feelings. It is much easier to try to send out indirect messges or avoiding the person in hopes of them getting the hint.
I say make it easier, let it go, and face the fact that he is just not that into you. And it's ok that he isn't. No one is obligated to have feelings for someone.
But don't take my word for it, read He's Just Not that Into You
I say make it easier, let it go, and face the fact that he is just not that into you. And it's ok that he isn't. No one is obligated to have feelings for someone.
But don't take my word for it, read He's Just Not that Into You
*Alanna*
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Comment by kate
I totally agree with your review of Behrendt's book. I've just posted a similar comment on my blog about his books.
Girls: if he's not into you it's not the end of your happiness, it's just an obstacle to tackle and the more obstacles you face the stronger you become in each and every relationship. So next time a potential partner gives you the cold shoulder EMBRACE it, and give it right back to him. You'll be better off and the path will be cleared for a guy totally worthy of you - someone you'll never have to get over because he'll ALWAYS be into YOU!
Comment by alanna
Glad to see we agree with the book! I agree totally. I see you have some good advice on your blog. Keep it up!
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by alanna
I understand the over analysing thing. I do it all the time! But this is one of those cases that you have to say to yourself, "why am I trying to make something so deep out of nothing worth my time".
Hope that helps!
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Threethumbs
Million Dollar Ideas
$1,000,000 ideas
would be cool to see the differance in reactions.
-threethumbs
Comment by What the...??
I met this guy three weeks ago online, we chatted for hours on end on the phone for a week, then we finally met one saturday afternoon and had a really great time. Now, we saw each other 3 days in a row, and only peck kissed on the lips. For the rest of the week, we chatted a few more times on the phone, and texted. He rang me one night saying he thought i wasnt into him, cos one night I decided not to answer his phone call. We saw each other again on saturday before christmas eve, and finally we had that snog that we hadnt had! It was mind blowing, we couldnt stop snogging at the nightclub, and in the end we went back to his place and we slept together. He asked me to spend christmas with him at his place, he had 10 friends over for a barbecue. Now, because he invited me, and I was raised this way I bought him a christmas present. I never in my wildest thought he would buy me a present. But he did. Every so often he came to check on me throughout his party to see if I was alright, he introduced me to his friends, and I got along great with them, joking around, making them laugh. Later on we went out to a house party, and I danced like I have never danced before (i love dancing), he danced me with me, I chatted more with more of his friends... every so often Id go to the kitchen to grab a glass of water to replenish my fluids, dancing so much made me so thirsty, and he would ALWAYS follow me into the kitchen, saying to see if I was alright... however whenever I was chatting to his friends he'd come over, if I went dancing in corner he'd come over and dance near me... of course we went back to his place and slept together. fast asleep he would always snuggle up behind me and hold onto me. Last weekend we saw each other 4 days in a row. I only stayed over twice. When I left on boxing day, he kissed me goodbye, hugged me, and said he would call me in a couple of days... my instinct said no, that i felt him distance himself. I dont know why I thought that. I never heard from him. I know for a fact he hasnt appeared back on the dating website we met on. Yesterday I txt him saying hi how are you, he rang me 5 - 10mins after getting my text msg. He sounded distant, Oh, I should say last week he had asked me to spend new years with me. During this conversation he get saying he could only get one ticket for new years, and that all his friends were hassling him to help them get tickets for new years, and that all he could get was 1 ticket for himself and couldnt get one for me, and asked what I was doing for new years, I said dont worry, I will be ok, this is a girl who travels around the world be her self, she can look after herself. We ended the conversation. I became all girly and text him, basically saying that I felt him not that into me, and to be upfront with me, that I will be ok. he text back and said this: (message from ysterday)
HEY BEAUTIFUL! I UNDERSTAND U ASKING THE QUESTION. NOT KNOWING WHATS GOING ON WITH WORK ETC. NOW IM THINKING IT IS REALLY BAD TIMING. ESPECIALLY AFTER BEING NOW. I AM INTERESTED IN U BIG TIME! BUT RIGHT NOW I NED TIME, SPACE 2 SORT THINGS OUT. I'LL CALL U 2MORA. TIME IS ALL I NEED RIGHT NOW. X
I text back and said, i understand that you need time and space. I respect you and have faith in you. ur worth it. take care x
Yes, I did my crying yesterday, and then I felt angry.. what should I do.. now I am spending new years by myself in a 4 star hotel by myself in melbourne... I really thought this guy was different.. he and i bounced off each other, had fun and so much laughter and so much in common. I know that he has had a stressful time at work, where he still doesnt know whether he will have a job next month since he crashed the company car with alcohol in his system the next day. He crashed the car the day of our first date. I have been patient and understanding about it all. I really care for him, and like him so much. What should I do?? I am going to continue on with my life, and also give him the space that he wants and needs. I wont contact him anymore.
Pisces Girl