bruce potterQuEsTiOn: 2 dAy RuLE
April 4th 2006 22:49
Question:
I say a guy has a better chance with a girl if he waits two days before
making contact with a girl. My friends that are girls say, if she really likes you then it doesn't matter how many days it is. Hogwash. Calling the next day can completely change a girls perception of you into desperate, clingy, and just in general TOO interested. By not making your meeting with this person such an event, you come off as more experienced and less needy. Now, I am not saying it is going to make or break the relationship or hook up, but it builds up the excitement and anticipation that much more if she IS in to you. What do you think?
-J Love
Answer:
Hey J Love!
Ok so this is what I feel.. it depends on the situation. If you meet the girl in a situation where you had this long, great conversation then I say it would be ok to not call for another 2 days.. but not necessary. Now if you met in a situation where you only had enough time to get her name and number then I say you should call the next day. The reason I say this is it is all about first impressions. In the first situation where you had a long conversation, it is clear in the girls mind that you are interested in her and wouldn't mind spending time talking with her, so not calling her the next day wouldn't ruin the first impressions, but the key is it wouldn't hurt the situation either if you called.. I will get to that reason later. Now in the second case, it is almost necessary to call unless you had an excuse not to because the first impression is "he's just another guy that wanted to see how many numbers he could get, I will believe it when he calls". Then when you don't call the next day she thinks "Yea, see I told myself he wasn't going to call". Then the next day when he finally calls she thinks "Well ok he called, but I'm still not sure. If he took 2 days to call without an excuse then I was last on the to do list. I have to act like he is last on my to do list too". In this situation, by not calling sooner you have actually initiated a game with her and now she feels like she can't call you back too early or show her feelings for you too quickly because you didn't start that way. AND let me mention by not calling the next day, it gives her more time to talk to her girl friends who will fill her mind with what they think about you and what she should and shouldn't do. That alone should make you want to call.
Now I'm not saying if you call on the second day she will give up all hope on the relationship or not get excited when you call because we are only talking if the girl likes the guy and any girl will get excited when the guy calls, even if it's 2 weeks later. However, she starts off without the best first impression. See, at the getting to know each other stage of a relationship, the rules are a little different than later. If you really like the girl, then it is better to start with a strong impression and back off later. This allows the relationship to have a trusting, honest, and no game playing start. After the first call, it is a different story. Unless there are plans involved, I say wait a couple of days. But for the first call, if you want the best first impression, I say call the next day.. that is unless you really had other plans and didn't have time. In that case the story is different, but it also isn't good to say "I was going to call you yesterday but this magazine article was so interesting".. basically make sure the excuse is worthwhile.
Thanks for writing!
I say a guy has a better chance with a girl if he waits two days before
Answer:
Hey J Love!
Ok so this is what I feel.. it depends on the situation. If you meet the girl in a situation where you had this long, great conversation then I say it would be ok to not call for another 2 days.. but not necessary. Now if you met in a situation where you only had enough time to get her name and number then I say you should call the next day. The reason I say this is it is all about first impressions. In the first situation where you had a long conversation, it is clear in the girls mind that you are interested in her and wouldn't mind spending time talking with her, so not calling her the next day wouldn't ruin the first impressions, but the key is it wouldn't hurt the situation either if you called.. I will get to that reason later. Now in the second case, it is almost necessary to call unless you had an excuse not to because the first impression is "he's just another guy that wanted to see how many numbers he could get, I will believe it when he calls". Then when you don't call the next day she thinks "Yea, see I told myself he wasn't going to call". Then the next day when he finally calls she thinks "Well ok he called, but I'm still not sure. If he took 2 days to call without an excuse then I was last on the to do list. I have to act like he is last on my to do list too". In this situation, by not calling sooner you have actually initiated a game with her and now she feels like she can't call you back too early or show her feelings for you too quickly because you didn't start that way. AND let me mention by not calling the next day, it gives her more time to talk to her girl friends who will fill her mind with what they think about you and what she should and shouldn't do. That alone should make you want to call.
Now I'm not saying if you call on the second day she will give up all hope on the relationship or not get excited when you call because we are only talking if the girl likes the guy and any girl will get excited when the guy calls, even if it's 2 weeks later. However, she starts off without the best first impression. See, at the getting to know each other stage of a relationship, the rules are a little different than later. If you really like the girl, then it is better to start with a strong impression and back off later. This allows the relationship to have a trusting, honest, and no game playing start. After the first call, it is a different story. Unless there are plans involved, I say wait a couple of days. But for the first call, if you want the best first impression, I say call the next day.. that is unless you really had other plans and didn't have time. In that case the story is different, but it also isn't good to say "I was going to call you yesterday but this magazine article was so interesting".. basically make sure the excuse is worthwhile.
Thanks for writing!
*Alanna*
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