bruce potterWhEn Is It ToO sOoN fOr MoRe?
April 12th 2006 05:37
Question:
If you've just started seeing a guy that you really like, how long should you wait before you think about taking it to the next level, if ya know what i mean... One of my (male) friends said if he really liked a chick, he would wait 2 months before even attempting anything sexual, but I think this is a little over the top. How soon is too soon? And if it is too soon, would he just lose interest?
Answer:
So how soon is too soon? Unfortunately, the answer is.. there is no set answer. It really does depend on the people involved.. BUT fortunately there are a few guidelines that I think could help. First of all, for definition purposes when talking about sexual contact, I’m talking about foreplay and beyond. Ok, so here are a few rules:
If I want something more with the person, I never participate in any sexual contact on the first date. I mainly do this because I like to have a connection with the people who touch me. 24 hours is not long enough for me to get that connection.
I always make sure he works for it. I’m not saying this because I think I’m this great prize that all men want. But my experience with being a younger sister of 2 boys, guys get bored with girls that give in too quickly and too easily. So I wait it out longer than when my hormones want some action.
I don’t go all the way the first time we do touch sexually. This rule isn’t concrete by all means, but I think it will truly test the relationship if you are scared about him just going after 1 thing. If at the heat of the moment, a guy is willing to just go back to relaxing without sex and he isn’t angry, that’s one way I know there’s something else that is keeping him with me.
Lastly but I think most importantly, asking is the best policy. Basically if you want to know, just ask. The 1 problem that I find I get myself into and see others do is starting a sexual relationship without the ability to talk first. If it is someone you want a future with, then build the communication before going for the pants. Chances are, if either person is uncomfortable talking about being together, then the relationship is going to crumble anyway.
As far as your friend goes, it’s nice to hear a guy say he won’t try anything for 2 months if he liked the girl. You definitely don’t hear that too often! However, the true question you need to ask him is if the girl tried something with him before 2 months into the relationship, would he say no? I’m sure the story would change.. and I don’t think he would like her any less if she did because guys are usually waiting out of respect and not because they aren’t ready. That’s just my take on it, anybody else have any input? Or better yet, anyone else have a question? Just post it on the blog or send me a message me if you want to be anonymous and I will post it without your name attached!
Thanks for the Question!
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If you've just started seeing a guy that you really like, how long should you wait before you think about taking it to the next level, if ya know what i mean... One of my (male) friends said if he really liked a chick, he would wait 2 months before even attempting anything sexual, but I think this is a little over the top. How soon is too soon? And if it is too soon, would he just lose interest?
-Anonymous
Answer:
Thanks for the Question!
*Alanna*
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Comment by Cibbuano
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I don't mind waiting, if it's a girl I like. You hit it right on, though... typically, guys have a short attention span with girls that give it up too easily.
Comment by alanna
Comment by Cibbuano
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What makes a decent guy? A guy that's honest and doesn't cheat on you? OK.
But if you start dating a guy and expect him to stop checking out other girls, that's unreasonable. We think about sex all the time!
Comment by Jimbo
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Comment by alanna