bruce potterWhy aren't you more like Robert Pattinson?
November 25th 2009 12:30
Terribly sorry but I've still got a faint taste of vomit in my mouth after reading yet more about how dreamy Robert Pattinson is.
I was speaking to a generation Y work colleague of mine recently and he was bemoaning the idea of having to listen to his girlfriend coo over Robert Pattinson again. He was noting that she overheard him saying something about how hot Megan Fox was, and now she's repaying him tenfold by constantly reminding him of how gorgeous she finds Robert Pattinson.
(FYI - he said New Moon sucked; which was my suspicion. If ever a film is embargoed from being reviewed before it's release date, it sucks. It's called a bump and run strategy, which they've updated to include the multiple midnight screenings nonsense. I didn't think much of Twilight, and wasn't going to bother with New Moon. True Blood is the vampire story for grown-ups.)
(FYI – 2 – Megan Fox has big toes for thumbs. There's a close-up in Tranformers where they look totally dwarf-like. Okay - who cares.)
This swooning over films stars reminded me of a relationship I had when I was a similar age, and I made the mistake of taking her to see Top Gun. (Yes I am that old.) For the next six weeks my love interest talked constantly to me and her friends about how dreamy Tom Cruise was. The comments even extended to why aren't you more like Tom Cruise? It's happened in subsequent relationships with Brad Pitt, Taye Diggs, George Clooney, et al.
My point is – what on earth do I and other men like my gen-y friend do with that information? None of us are ever going to be like Cruise, Pitt, Clooney, Diggs, so why bother burdening us with the disappointment?
Every man has a fantasy girlfriend/s. Any man who says he doesn't is lying. But most of us make an effort to keep it to ourselves. Hence, being a fantasy girl.
But for some reason, no doubt in the pursuit of honesty in the relationship, women seem bound to tell their men who they wish they were more like.
Why? How can this possibly improve the partnership?
Just do what we do and when you're closing your eyes in the private moments pretend you're with them. Therapists call this fantasisation. It may be pseudo cheating, but it's not quite as bad for the relationship as being in bed with Robert Pattinson and fantasising about being with your boyfriend. (Now all of the girls have lost all focus. See, it works!)
Not just are we not ever going to be like Pitt, Clooney and Pattinson, but you know who else is not like them? They aren't. Cruise is a freakshow sofa-jumping scientologist; Pitt dumped Jennifer Aniston for one of the world's most desirable women, so it's not like he's sitting by the phone; and Clooney is – well okay, he's pretty cool; and Pattinson is a 24 year-old guitar- playing Arsenal fan. Arsenal! You don't think he's fond of beer? But he's just so dreamy . . . here comes my lunch again.
My point is, and this relates to a previous post ( Men Are Not Projects) so many girls seem to be in love with the ideal, rather than the reality. So the movie worked it's magic, and you've fallen in love with Edward. He's not real. The real Pattinson is jamming in a garage with his band, and then heading down to the pub to sing Arsene Wenger to the opening line from Lion King (it works, try it) whilst drinking eight pints of Guiness.
And even is you did, by some cataclysmic good fortune and aligning of the stars, manage to find your way into Pattinson's bed, imagine the insecurity you would feel for the moment he walks out the door and into the gushing horde of thousands of other girls who want to be his Bella!
Ahh, there's beauty in the truth.
I was speaking to a generation Y work colleague of mine recently and he was bemoaning the idea of having to listen to his girlfriend coo over Robert Pattinson again. He was noting that she overheard him saying something about how hot Megan Fox was, and now she's repaying him tenfold by constantly reminding him of how gorgeous she finds Robert Pattinson.
(FYI - he said New Moon sucked; which was my suspicion. If ever a film is embargoed from being reviewed before it's release date, it sucks. It's called a bump and run strategy, which they've updated to include the multiple midnight screenings nonsense. I didn't think much of Twilight, and wasn't going to bother with New Moon. True Blood is the vampire story for grown-ups.)
This swooning over films stars reminded me of a relationship I had when I was a similar age, and I made the mistake of taking her to see Top Gun. (Yes I am that old.) For the next six weeks my love interest talked constantly to me and her friends about how dreamy Tom Cruise was. The comments even extended to why aren't you more like Tom Cruise? It's happened in subsequent relationships with Brad Pitt, Taye Diggs, George Clooney, et al.
My point is – what on earth do I and other men like my gen-y friend do with that information? None of us are ever going to be like Cruise, Pitt, Clooney, Diggs, so why bother burdening us with the disappointment?
Every man has a fantasy girlfriend/s. Any man who says he doesn't is lying. But most of us make an effort to keep it to ourselves. Hence, being a fantasy girl.
Why? How can this possibly improve the partnership?
Just do what we do and when you're closing your eyes in the private moments pretend you're with them. Therapists call this fantasisation. It may be pseudo cheating, but it's not quite as bad for the relationship as being in bed with Robert Pattinson and fantasising about being with your boyfriend. (Now all of the girls have lost all focus. See, it works!)
Not just are we not ever going to be like Pitt, Clooney and Pattinson, but you know who else is not like them? They aren't. Cruise is a freakshow sofa-jumping scientologist; Pitt dumped Jennifer Aniston for one of the world's most desirable women, so it's not like he's sitting by the phone; and Clooney is – well okay, he's pretty cool; and Pattinson is a 24 year-old guitar- playing Arsenal fan. Arsenal! You don't think he's fond of beer? But he's just so dreamy . . . here comes my lunch again.
My point is, and this relates to a previous post ( Men Are Not Projects) so many girls seem to be in love with the ideal, rather than the reality. So the movie worked it's magic, and you've fallen in love with Edward. He's not real. The real Pattinson is jamming in a garage with his band, and then heading down to the pub to sing Arsene Wenger to the opening line from Lion King (it works, try it) whilst drinking eight pints of Guiness.
And even is you did, by some cataclysmic good fortune and aligning of the stars, manage to find your way into Pattinson's bed, imagine the insecurity you would feel for the moment he walks out the door and into the gushing horde of thousands of other girls who want to be his Bella!
Ahh, there's beauty in the truth.
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